Blurry nights, drunken kisses and motion sickness

I had an amazing time, when I say amazing, I kind of say it like this AH-MAHzing, the whole shahbang awesomely ahmahzing, at first I was kind of down in the dumps because I was motion sick the fight night I was there. It sucked but I was glad that none of my friends made it to Tokyo yet, so, I spent my time in my cool hotel room wishing for the world to end or God to magically bestow me with some dramatine (dramatine is my bitch, it also knocks me the hell out, most amazing thing ever invented, anyway). So, the next morning I was most certainly refreshed and Thank GOD I was, I spent my Saturday morning being lost (because Tokyo is big and stuff, plus nobody really speaks English which is all right with me) and my Saturday night with my friends. I wish I could get into amazing details other than once again, I was encountered with stripper status people. I really wonder wtf is wrong with my life that I keep running into all these wannabe strippers at the club. I mean literally, as usual for me, girls taking off ALL their clothes, bra, panties, the works, oh and for some reason, all their underclothing match. Like that isn't clue enough that this girl may or might as well be a stripper. Or a Juicy Girl.


Anyway, I saw the Friend and it was everything I expected.

It was just ahhmazing and the shopping, RAWR, HELL YESS, I love everything I bought, who cares that I had to whip out my credit card more than once and I'm dangerously close to maxing it out, whatever have you seen my wardore? Yes, I am admittedly love to shop, I may or may not have a problem and going to the store and not buying something does bother me. What-ever, anyway, shopping in Tokyo, actually everything IN TOKYO was everything I've dreamed of and more...Awww, when dreams come true :)

all my images are from weheartit

Sticky Hands, Sticky Fingers, Sticky

I'm going on VACATION! Well technically it's not vacation, I'm going to the bright and busy Tokyo for a few days with a few friends, with THE Friend but surprisingly, I'm excited about the VACATION, did I mention, I'm getting away from work, yessssssss. I know, how can I decide that I want to go on vacation when I live in the bright sunny and beautiful tropical paradise. I mean look at where I live... yep the bright and sunny beach side that's pictured in the left. I do love where I live but DAMN, wouldn't you get tired of unpredictable weather, humid heat and...umm...I have no idea why I'm complaining about tropical paradise, um LOOK WHERE I LIVE, anyway whatever, I need to visit, I need to be surrounded by men and most of all, I need some H&M in my life. I can't live without it.

And to top off things that I can't live without, Lindsay Lohan's leaked song Stuck is always on my brain, always being hummed underneath my breath. So catchy and every person has been there, just stuck on a certain person. Hell, I've been there many times as I mentioned before, I like to convince myself that I'm in love but I do admit, I was ALMOST there when I was 19. It was my most serious and only relationship kind of relationship (does that make sense). He lured me with amazing sex and a slightly good personality (when he wasn't telling me I should be wearing thongs hanging out of my pants with my bra showing through my shirt- no lies, you can't make that shit up) when I tried to submit an Ex-Boyfriend Letter to Skinny Dip, I literally couldn't even think of all the bad things he have done to me other than the cheating and the constant fighting whether it was over Myspace or through voicemail. I just dismiss that relationship as a petty relationship between two hotheaded, stubborn children. Some days I even forget how he looks like that's how insignificant he is to me.

Though, word on the street is that he's still talking about me. Almost two years later and I'm still on his mind. I guess I just got it like that :)

Passion....that's all I got

I'm passionate about love. Not just love. Finding love. I want to be in love. I want to feel what everybody else is feeling. Even if it means convincing myself that I love someone even though I'm a terrible liar, I'm an amazing actress, somedays I even believe myself which is even scarier. I wonder what I feel is real sometimes, I've never been in love and I can say this without a smile and honesty. Even though I cared about T I never loved him, I never foresee myself with him, my life with him would've been blank and unimaginable. I can't describe the feelings I felt towards him other than passion, everything was passionate, sex was amazing, sex was more than amazing, the generosity (when he was generous enough to give it to me) was something I enjoyed. I loved his kisses and being goofy with him but something was missing and I opted to not marry him. Sometimes I wonder if I'm coldhearted, there's so many men that I've been through so many names I've begin to forget, so many events blurred together. I can't even remember what happened when and when happened what. Do you get me? It's hard as Hell some days because none of these people meant anything to me. It's weird, I think it's weird and I think to myself "Am I a heartless bitch meant to live her life in spinster town like fuck?" I mean, I look at those guys, some were amazing, some were't and I know that I purposely drive guys away unknowingly too, I throw fits because I'm the princess, I do what the fuck I want, (I say this sarcastically), I see other guys because UM HEY, there is no ring on my finger, I haven't updated my Facebook status, this is MEANINGLESS. Though, somehow I convince myself somehow through all of this even though inner me is saying "NO, he's NOT the one" convinces myself that I want to be with him and settle.

Now, onto my now ongoing problem even though I said I wouldn't blog about this. I will, the reason why I've never started anything with the Friend is because I was afraid. Afraid of everything, I've been through instances where I've began things with a friend and I didn't want to go through that again. There has been times and almosts, so many I can barely count with us. And I just don't know. I just don't know and already we're talking about seeing each other when we're both home and isn't that how it all begins? I just don't know and it's weird and annoying, I hate it.

I'm also passionate about clothes. Fashion, my friends and family. I guess that because I've been loved all my life that I just want to share my love with more than my family and friends. I want to love with no bounds and be loved with no bounds.

All I've Ever Wanted

It's almost 5 in the morning and I still can't sleep. I'm brimming in between excitement and fear, why? Well, I'm meeting up with a few friends in a town close by and guess who'll be there? Yep, the Friend, anyway, it made me think about how some things that seem so right happen at the wrong time? Well, I'm ready now.

Anyway, last night I was tasked with one of the most impossible tasks. Staying up all night, now, anybody who has met me briefly know three things about me, I love my food, I love my freedom and I definitely love my sleep. I looooove my sleep, I wouldn't sacrifice it for anybody, I have hung up on my parents before when they've called me at an indecent hour, if it's not an emergency, don't think about disturbing me. So, while last night, I was tasked with the impossible, I thought of all the possible things I could do to conquer the impossible. Let me tell you, I failed miserably and winded up passing out multiple times before I gave up. Worst idea I've ever had, I woke up a couple times last night, I have no idea what I've done, I was in a state between sleep and reality. It was terrible, I wrote a friend on facebook cussing him out, I talked to the Friend for a bit and winded up sounding like a complete moron. It was terrible.

I wish I could say never ever again but my job is so...unpredictable, I wish I could just say eff you and go to sleep whenever I want. Though, it was kind of funny, a lot of my coworker's shifts got changed as well, the statuses on facebook were beyond hilarious. It made me think of how we're all a bunch of big whiny bitches. College kids stay up twenty four hour straight all the time, why can't us working folks do the same?

By the way, every single one of us crashed around 2am. If we were all in the same place, we would kind of look like this...








Oh well. It was a long effing day.

Scratch marks, weird bruises, crushes, time bombs and stripper status

I wish this would be an happy blog, me talking about stripper status, I will mention it below or me talking about how I acquired bite marks on my chest and lower back.... (well, obviously I didn't give them to myself) or anything else BUT what I'm about to blog about. I'm leaving this place, not in a month, not in a week, now as in in 15 hours. To me, I don't know where this two years have went, most of the two years have been a blur (thanks again alcohol). When I say a blur, most of my first year here, I spent drunkenly patrolling the streets with my girl, broke up with my ex bf (well he broke up with me, I mean honestly who can really remember THOSE details), spent months crying over him, met tons of rebounds and spent another 4-6 months patrolling the streets again with my then-soon to be next rebound (aka my then best guy friend). I had an actually crazy year. I wish I could begin to recount what happened over the past two years.

I do know what happened over the past few months have been the best few months of my life. I had an EPIC weekend, so epic that people are stopping my friends in the streets (people I don't know) and telling my friends about what I did that weekend. I wish I can recount the tale of THAT weekend, all I know there is a video, I haven't seen it yet but I have begged and pleaded with my guy friends to hold off (my dad is on my facebook and probably on damn youtube...THANKS again technology for continuously showcasing to the world that sweet and innocent is definitely not synonyms of MY name). I've rebounded through a few guy friends, shockingly, only two out of the many were weird to the point where we're not friends anymore. Like not friends on facebook friends, yep, gasp, SHOCK, AWW, that really happened. I've also done a lot of morally questionable things here, made up the quote of all time and became the best girl friend ever (not as in GIRLFRIEND as in GIRL and FRIEND, I'm a terrible girlfriend). Did I mention that I may or may not have "fallen" for my now guy friend? Yep...

Not the one where I got my bite marks, scratch marks and "weird" bruises from, nope the other one. The one where my girl friend said "you two would be a really great couple, mostly because he gets you". Yep, him, and it's easy for me to be with other guys because I know that I will never feel for them and even though I know that they could easily feel for me (not to effing flatter myself, well, I can because I'm SMAWESOME but all the guys friends I have had have had a crush on me, at least three times, true story and you can quote me) So, I like the Current but I like him for what he can DO to me *eyebrow raise* not what he can do for me. We get along great, the kinky-kink-kinkiness is fantastic except the week after (CURSE YOU, I'm still a limpin!) but I would never date the Current in real life. We could never exist in REAL LIFE ever, never ever, one, he cheats two, he cheats and three he annoys me. Though, the FRIEND, I can see myself with, guys that I know that things would be beyond great, amazing, relationship, I'm just afraid to pursue because it's scary, the whole thing and I would do anything to stop from wanting to be with the so now obviously flaming homosexual. He's not TOO flaming, you know since he makes out with girls every weekend and denies he's gay , hates gays but is so obviously gay. "Cut the rug anybody" and so obviously still living in the 90s. Pssh, let me waste no more breath on him, I wish he would fucking delete me off of facebook, damn, I won't delete him, he needs to realize how awesome my life is. Though with the friend, if I do feel the same way in a few months, I think it'd be worth it to pursue a long distance, I think so, I think so, I like I like.... Anyway.

I do want to talk about stripper status. Seriously on Saturday night, I saw a STRIPPER at the club. I know, so exciting, what's new, no, I mean, stripper as in stripping off her clothes, dancing on the pole stripper. She was too good on the pole to not be a stripper and the sad thing was, I stopped drinking my drink for twenty whole minutes to watch her put on a show. None of my guy friends were remotely interested, one even said "When I look at her, I think of HIV and AIDS". I'm pretty sure HIV and AIDS are the same thing but I agreed as I watched her put on the show. I wanted to give her money but since I was getting drinks by my lowcut shirt and big boobs, I so obviously did not have any money. She inspired me to get a stripper pole and learn how to strip, the night before, I kind of put on a strip show, strip show as in my clothes were on but I was dancing on a pole. Or living vividly through what my college life WOULD be if I you know, actually went to college.

We Spin in Circles/We Go Around

Morals and I, we kind of get along sometimes. Sometimes my morals are always in my head, don't do this, don't do that and I won't because you know, morals are important. For some reason over the past two weekends, whatever morals that I seemed to have went out the window. I don't really want to go on and on about what I've done because sometimes, I don't even feel ashamed nor bad nor sometimes I don't care but...

Anyway, I was reading Glamour.com and the writer was asking how people are doing with their New Years Resolution. I don't even know why I bother from year to year, week two I always forget but I've been failing miserably. I hate my job more than life itself, my job stresses me out, makes me want to kick someone in the face, it's really hard to be positive when everyone around you are negative. Luckily for me, I get to leave this place in 5 days and then I'll be free! Happy and Free!! I can't wait to leave, I can't wait to start my life again and start over. So being positive will be in effect in five days. :)



We Heart It

New Years!

So, I decided (if you've noticed) that I am not going to talk about my love life in great detail aka one person, if I'm dating multiple people then whatever but one person...lol I'm supersticious. Anyway! New Years is approaching, fast approaching, as I'm sitting in my robe waiting for my straighter to heat up, I reminice about the year and man, 2009 was NOT my year or 2008. It was a fun year, I admit, I've done a lot of partying, met new friends (with me that's the norm, I love new people) and got a lot accomplished. I have a few New Years resolutions, so let me share them with you.


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Be Positive

That's it. That's my whole New Years Resolution. Anyway, Happy Drinking!

I leave you with another video... I know I'm addicted to them!

"I'm F*$cking Matt Damon!" by Sarah Silverman from Sarah Silverman