Getting your heartbroken does that to a girl, makes a girl want to have goals want to change. I know, it does it for me, as he posts pictures of them on his facebook after two weeks of leaving me, I realize that I'm never going to find someone unless I change. I don't have to change my personality but I do have to change my morals. So, I decided to make a list, I know that it's not going to stop me from getting my heart broken again and even though, this is the second time this has happened to me, the first time was a little bit more severe, I'm not going to stop looking for love. I know there is someone out there for me, I'm just going to have to figure out how to find him. NO more am I going to accept less and settle for something, I am not some floozy tramp who likes to get 3am calls or midnight knocks on my door, I am a woman and I deserved to be loved. No more am I going to be with guys that my friends doesn't respect nor like. If they're telling me he's a player and have that pleading look in their eyes as they go "well maybe he'll change for you", I'm just going to think he's not going to change and move on. If I talk about a relationship and a guy says he's not into it, he's never going to change his mind, just doesn't want a relationship, especially with me, as I am learning today, then I need to pick up my Coach purse and run. I am learning that I can't just assume that a guy wants me or he cares, if I want a guy and I want a good guy, I'm going to have to lay out the terms. Guys are going to take what they can get and run but if I show them that I am lady and that I respect myself then I can weed the guys that will most likely break my heart from the guys who are willing to try.
I'm tired of being that girl and after a year and half of being that girl, allowing to be treated like crap and settling for less, I've decided that I can't take that anymore. So, this is me, a 20 year old woman, with no bullshit, going through the motions and trying to find someone who respects me as I respect them. I'm not going to try and make it boring, if fact, I hope to spice it up but as of late, there's nothing in my life this year that has been good and I have to change it.
