So...

A new change is coming. I spoke of it weeks ago and I've never been happier. I don't need a man and I don't need this list on how to find this perfect man or whatever. Lately, I've just been enjoying myself and being alone and really, I don't know what I've been up to, really, I think going out with my friends helped me out a lot. Even though, I have guys left and right trying to go out with me, sleep with me, etc. I'm fine with waiting and I'm fine with taking it slow and I am talking to someone, hint, but I am fine with being alone. Let me remind you about that, I don't care either way if this doesn't work out because whatever, what do I have to lose, I still have myself, I still have my glorious books, I still have my newfound friends who even though they do drink a lot, are tons of fun, last weekend, we stayed in and played Rockband. Kind of nerdy but it was something I like to do, I'm not the party girl, I used to be but now I rather stay in and watch a movie with a friend, not a boyfriend, but an actual friend, preferrably with my best friend and gossip until the wee hours of the night.

Boys...eh? I don't need them and that guy? I heard he's getting married, the one in the last entry. I still call him names, mostly for laughs, I don't really care about him anymore. I miss his friendship but I realized that we could've never made it. I was too dominated and yes, I am the one who always must be the dominate one in the relationship, that's just me, I have a very strong personality, I know what I want, when I want it and how I want it, where I want it, here, please, that's me but he....he wasn't passive but he couldn't handle it. It bothered him, it hurted his feelings when I would bluntly tell him how I felt, I don't sugarcoat and I won't sugarcoat for some guy. It's not in my nature, I've never been that way and I won't be that way. I don't hope he's happy, I'm going to be honest but I hope he grows up. I don't think some girl is going to change him into this magnifigicant person and he's going to be this mature guy who doesn't pass out drunk every weekend oh and Thursdays too (typical Frat Boy) but...whatever, if she can deal with him. Go ahead. Plus, I look better than her (it's probably the vainest thing I will say) and even if I wasn't already okay with the fact that me and him will never be, the fact that I look better than he would've probably already made it better. But that's just a definite plus. But I'm sure she's a sweet girl.

Anyway, as I said, I haven't changed but I've slightly put a changed in my life. I started going to spin class more often, actually putting effort into my homework for classes, just considering more of myself then boys. And honestly, I finally made a decision with boys instead leading them on like I usually do and choosing the one that my friends like the most. I choose the one that I like the most, I'm not going to choose the guy who thinks he's already won. I've made that mistake far too much or the guy with the attitude. Finally, hopefully, the nice guy will win. But I leave here soon and it will not be a love match but it will be fun. I'm glad. I'm finally happy. Thank God.